Boy Scouts Vote for Half-Inclusiveness

GRAPEVINE, TEXAS- The Boy Scouts of America’s 14,000 voting members approved a plan yesterday to make the organization half-inclusive to homosexuals.

Winning 61 percent of the votes, the policy will take affect January 1^st and allow gay scouts while still excluding gay leaders. Wayne Perry, president of the organization, remarked, “This is a great half-success for the BSA. We pride ourselves on the halfway-diversity of our members. This is just a continuation of our mission.”

A previous proposal included letting individual troops decide how inclusive they felt like being in a diverse and fair 21^st century American society. However, it was quickly ruled out as being too tolerant for an organization that prides itself on tolerance. At one point, the BSA also considered lifting the ban on all gay members. That idea too was shut down, fearing the reaction of the organization’s religiously accepting scouts to “avowed homosexuals”.

Critics of the new half-inclusive policy stated that it is unnecessary and inconsistent. “All closeted gays were allowed in scouts before. Why not keep it that way?” asked Sean Hannity from Fox News.

Supporters of the new rule hailed it as a half-step in the right direction. The Human Rights Campaign’s statement on the news said, “America has constantly made compromises on basic values to move forward as a society. Who can forget all of the good that came from The Missouri Compromise of 1850? Or how Allied appeasement prevented a second world war? The new BSA policy will be just as much of a success as those were.” 

                                                                                       -By Mike Vandenberg

Weekly Report 5/20 - 5/26

So, I think I can sum up this week in one sentence: Naming is hard.

Pretty much spent the whole week renaming characters and I barely got through half of them. However I did finish getting some basic characteristics down for everyone. Here's what I've got so far:

Pahhur:
Name: Carlos (meaning free man or strong) Reinhard (meaning determined) which is fairly indicative of his/her character's thought process. Pahhur (meaning Fire) is still going to be the God Given name.
Age: 20
Race: Spanish/German
Sex: Male/Female
Sexual Orientation: Bi
Social Class: Middle Class
Religion: Doesn't Care

Seth:
Name: Wilheard (Meaning will or hardy) Wilfred (Meaning desiring peace) Then once he is converted into a shadow he'll gain the name Seth. I think this speaks of his character and will create internal strife once he becomes a shadow.
Race: Caucasian
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Social Class: Poor
Religion: Hindu

Odin:
Name: Heng (permanent or constant) Kun (earth) This one is pretty obvious, and again he'll get the name Odin after becoming a God which also has obvious implications to his character.
Age: 24
Race: Chinese
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Social Class: Poor
Religion: Origin Gods

Vyrse:
Name: Vyrse Nemo (meaning nobody)
Age: 50
Race: Caucasian
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: A
Social Class: Upper-Middle
Religion: Atheist

Raven:
Name: Raven Wilson
Age: 45
Race: Roman
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Class: Lower Noble (Captain of the Royal Guard)
Religion: Origin Gods

Jude:
Name: Jude Riot
Age: 40
Race: American, Southern
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Social Class: Upper
Religion: Christianity

Syndil:
Name: Syndil Wilson
Age: 16
Race: Roman
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Class: Lower Nobility
Religion: Origin Gods

Professor Astonishing page 28

Dimensional Warriors Comic page 69

Animal Farmer Joe Media Still Savagely Beating Dead Horse Lohan

CATRON COUNTY, NEW MEXICO- Neighbors doing their yearly check-up on Joe Media’s farm yesterday confirmed that he has been beating his dead horse, called Lindsay Lohan, for seven years now.

Lohan, as the female horse was more commonly known, was born in 1986. Almost from the beginning, she exhibited the build of a racehorse that could do great things. Her original owner, Dina, saw economic opportunity in her running ability and enrolled her in races at some local tracks. She handily won them all.

She would later go on to win the Preakness in 1998. Given low odds even with her record, Lohan’s triumph resulted in a payout of $92 million for her supporters. Five years later, she won the Kentucky Derby on a cold Friday during a freak thunderstorm, earning her fans over $160 million. But it was all downhill from there for poor Lohan.

Shortly after that race, she was bought by Joe Media and moved to his farm in New Mexico. One night, Media brought the water trough into the barn. When he slammed the door closed, a bottle of Grey Goose vodka fell off the shelf and into the trough. Lohan would never be the same.

While still appearing in some races occasionally, Lohan’s alcoholism kept getting in the way. Stints in horse rehab proved futile, and Media began to beat her for her drinking. In 2006, Lohan succumbed to the combination of abuse and died. Witnesses reported that her last word was, “Neigh.”

For reasons unknown, Media continued to beat Lohan even after the horse died. In the past seven years, he has alternated which tool he uses for his endless savage beating, but typically uses a police baton. Every minute, he temporarily stops to take pictures of it lying there as it miserably decomposes. When questioned by reporters on their yearly visit as to why he is relentlessly beating his dead horse, Media said, “I just care. I care so much. Look at her; she used to be so talented and graceful.”

“This can’t possibly be my fault,” Media assured the neighbors.

                                                                                                           - By Mike Vandenberg

Weekly Report 5/13 - 5/19

So to basically prove that I haven't stopped working, I'll be providing updates to what I'm doing here. Ted and the others are all doing their thing well enough, and the proof of that is the mostly on time weekly updates. It's really just me that's stopped. And that's 'cause I'm doubling down and working on DW to make it better than ever.

What that means is a lot of planning at this point. I've written and re-written the piece a billion times by now, and I know generally the type of story I want to write. I just need to sit down and work with each character, flesh out their backstories, work on names, make them more relatable. Which is what I have been doing, I've gotten a pretty fleshed out backstory for all of my characters, and tied them all together, and now I'm working on names.

Now with names, it's a little awkward. Many names were chosen by the people the characters were based on, and for the most part they work perfectly. But they aren't names these characters would be born into. So they have their birth names, and then the names they inherit once they get their gifts. (I also dropped Antigon Haiden as it was just clumsy to say. Plus I could never decide what part should be the surname, and therefore a part of Leukos/Metudo/Anatos' names. So their family name is now Reinhard.)

Most of the naming process is finding names with meaning, and making sure those meanings stack up with what I want that character to represent.

Also, while I'm doing this to let people know I haven't vanished from the face of the world, this will also serve as a place for me to collect my most recent thought and see if new patterns appear. That said, I'm going to not broadcast these over facebook, twitter and google, since they are mostly me rambling for a page or so and very few people would be interested in that.

Professor Astonishing comic page 27

Sorry for the late update, it was my fault. Had to handle two year olds yesterday so I couldn't get this up.