Tuesday, March 5, 2013

New Filler-Free Oscars to Have Run-Time of 10 Minutes


LOS ANGELES- Addressing complaints about previous ceremonies, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has revealed that this Sunday’s Academy Awards will have a total run-time of 10 minutes.
The show is notoriously known for its extremely long run-time, which frequently spills over into other programs scheduled by its broadcasting channel, ABC. Hawk Koch, president of the Academy, said that it was time for the Oscars to, “be a little more considerate to vital shows like Eyewitness News and reruns of Who Wants to be a Millionaire”.

Although show runners in recent years have tried to allow for a cleaner, shorter show, it has not resulted in making the timing any less than three and a half hours.

The new format will forgo traditional Academy Awards practices such as “nap-time musical numbers” and the old news segment, more commonly known as “In Memoriam.” It will also not have portions like the Best Sound Mixing award “which no one deserves anyway” and commercial breaks. Further, it will axe some of the most time consuming parts, like having the host announce someone that then announces the winner- in an effort to eliminate pointless redundancy.

The show’s producers for this Sunday, Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, did not want to give away too many details. Zadan explains, “It’s not that we’re afraid of giving away spoilers. There just won’t be anything special that happens.” Meron found a way to drop another hint by saying, “No, for real. We’re going to have Seth MacFarlane joke about famous people for five minutes, and then the rest of the time will be just him giving out the Oscars. He won’t even read the names of the other nominees first.”

E! Network, working in coordination with ABC to provide the Red Carpet portion of the day, announced that it too would cut back on the length of its show. The original broadcast length for “Live from the Red Carpet” of two and a half hours will be cut by almost two and a half hours. The new show will simply be a 30-second clip of notable outfits to air immediately before the start of the ceremony on ABC itself.
The new Oscars run-time is already receiving universal acclaim from critics. Sandy Topher of the Los Angeles Times wrote in Friday’s editorial that she is “delighted” to hear the news. “A roomful of rich people patting each other on the back and giving themselves gold statues gets a little tiring after ten minutes or so anyway.”

At press time, Koch was overheard asking the producers if they could cut the show down to 7 minutes instead by, “having Seth just throw the awards at the actors in the audience so they don’t have to waste time walking up to the stage.”

                                                                                                                         by Mike Vandenberg

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