Dimensional Warriors comic page 70

Boy Scouts Vote for Half-Inclusiveness

GRAPEVINE, TEXAS- The Boy Scouts of America’s 14,000 voting members approved a plan yesterday to make the organization half-inclusive to homosexuals.

Winning 61 percent of the votes, the policy will take affect January 1^st and allow gay scouts while still excluding gay leaders. Wayne Perry, president of the organization, remarked, “This is a great half-success for the BSA. We pride ourselves on the halfway-diversity of our members. This is just a continuation of our mission.”

A previous proposal included letting individual troops decide how inclusive they felt like being in a diverse and fair 21^st century American society. However, it was quickly ruled out as being too tolerant for an organization that prides itself on tolerance. At one point, the BSA also considered lifting the ban on all gay members. That idea too was shut down, fearing the reaction of the organization’s religiously accepting scouts to “avowed homosexuals”.

Critics of the new half-inclusive policy stated that it is unnecessary and inconsistent. “All closeted gays were allowed in scouts before. Why not keep it that way?” asked Sean Hannity from Fox News.

Supporters of the new rule hailed it as a half-step in the right direction. The Human Rights Campaign’s statement on the news said, “America has constantly made compromises on basic values to move forward as a society. Who can forget all of the good that came from The Missouri Compromise of 1850? Or how Allied appeasement prevented a second world war? The new BSA policy will be just as much of a success as those were.” 

                                                                                       -By Mike Vandenberg

Weekly Report 5/20 - 5/26

So, I think I can sum up this week in one sentence: Naming is hard.

Pretty much spent the whole week renaming characters and I barely got through half of them. However I did finish getting some basic characteristics down for everyone. Here's what I've got so far:

Pahhur:
Name: Carlos (meaning free man or strong) Reinhard (meaning determined) which is fairly indicative of his/her character's thought process. Pahhur (meaning Fire) is still going to be the God Given name.
Age: 20
Race: Spanish/German
Sex: Male/Female
Sexual Orientation: Bi
Social Class: Middle Class
Religion: Doesn't Care

Seth:
Name: Wilheard (Meaning will or hardy) Wilfred (Meaning desiring peace) Then once he is converted into a shadow he'll gain the name Seth. I think this speaks of his character and will create internal strife once he becomes a shadow.
Race: Caucasian
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Social Class: Poor
Religion: Hindu

Odin:
Name: Heng (permanent or constant) Kun (earth) This one is pretty obvious, and again he'll get the name Odin after becoming a God which also has obvious implications to his character.
Age: 24
Race: Chinese
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Social Class: Poor
Religion: Origin Gods

Vyrse:
Name: Vyrse Nemo (meaning nobody)
Age: 50
Race: Caucasian
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: A
Social Class: Upper-Middle
Religion: Atheist

Raven:
Name: Raven Wilson
Age: 45
Race: Roman
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Class: Lower Noble (Captain of the Royal Guard)
Religion: Origin Gods

Jude:
Name: Jude Riot
Age: 40
Race: American, Southern
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Social Class: Upper
Religion: Christianity

Syndil:
Name: Syndil Wilson
Age: 16
Race: Roman
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Hetero
Class: Lower Nobility
Religion: Origin Gods

Professor Astonishing page 28

Dimensional Warriors Comic page 69

Animal Farmer Joe Media Still Savagely Beating Dead Horse Lohan

CATRON COUNTY, NEW MEXICO- Neighbors doing their yearly check-up on Joe Media’s farm yesterday confirmed that he has been beating his dead horse, called Lindsay Lohan, for seven years now.

Lohan, as the female horse was more commonly known, was born in 1986. Almost from the beginning, she exhibited the build of a racehorse that could do great things. Her original owner, Dina, saw economic opportunity in her running ability and enrolled her in races at some local tracks. She handily won them all.

She would later go on to win the Preakness in 1998. Given low odds even with her record, Lohan’s triumph resulted in a payout of $92 million for her supporters. Five years later, she won the Kentucky Derby on a cold Friday during a freak thunderstorm, earning her fans over $160 million. But it was all downhill from there for poor Lohan.

Shortly after that race, she was bought by Joe Media and moved to his farm in New Mexico. One night, Media brought the water trough into the barn. When he slammed the door closed, a bottle of Grey Goose vodka fell off the shelf and into the trough. Lohan would never be the same.

While still appearing in some races occasionally, Lohan’s alcoholism kept getting in the way. Stints in horse rehab proved futile, and Media began to beat her for her drinking. In 2006, Lohan succumbed to the combination of abuse and died. Witnesses reported that her last word was, “Neigh.”

For reasons unknown, Media continued to beat Lohan even after the horse died. In the past seven years, he has alternated which tool he uses for his endless savage beating, but typically uses a police baton. Every minute, he temporarily stops to take pictures of it lying there as it miserably decomposes. When questioned by reporters on their yearly visit as to why he is relentlessly beating his dead horse, Media said, “I just care. I care so much. Look at her; she used to be so talented and graceful.”

“This can’t possibly be my fault,” Media assured the neighbors.

                                                                                                           - By Mike Vandenberg

Weekly Report 5/13 - 5/19

So to basically prove that I haven't stopped working, I'll be providing updates to what I'm doing here. Ted and the others are all doing their thing well enough, and the proof of that is the mostly on time weekly updates. It's really just me that's stopped. And that's 'cause I'm doubling down and working on DW to make it better than ever.

What that means is a lot of planning at this point. I've written and re-written the piece a billion times by now, and I know generally the type of story I want to write. I just need to sit down and work with each character, flesh out their backstories, work on names, make them more relatable. Which is what I have been doing, I've gotten a pretty fleshed out backstory for all of my characters, and tied them all together, and now I'm working on names.

Now with names, it's a little awkward. Many names were chosen by the people the characters were based on, and for the most part they work perfectly. But they aren't names these characters would be born into. So they have their birth names, and then the names they inherit once they get their gifts. (I also dropped Antigon Haiden as it was just clumsy to say. Plus I could never decide what part should be the surname, and therefore a part of Leukos/Metudo/Anatos' names. So their family name is now Reinhard.)

Most of the naming process is finding names with meaning, and making sure those meanings stack up with what I want that character to represent.

Also, while I'm doing this to let people know I haven't vanished from the face of the world, this will also serve as a place for me to collect my most recent thought and see if new patterns appear. That said, I'm going to not broadcast these over facebook, twitter and google, since they are mostly me rambling for a page or so and very few people would be interested in that.

Professor Astonishing comic page 27

Sorry for the late update, it was my fault. Had to handle two year olds yesterday so I couldn't get this up.

Dimensional Warriors comic page 68

My Victory Proves the American Dream is Still Alive, Even for Scumbags like Me

By Rep. Mark Sanford, 1^st District of South Carolina

On May 7^th, the people of Charlotte and its surrounding coastal towns picked me, Mark Sanford, to work for them in the House of Representatives. During my campaign, I made clear the fact that the American Dream is still alive and well in this great nation. With the shit I’ve pulled, my election to Congress proves it.

America is the land of opportunity, after all. In this country, if you work hard, you can do anything. Upward mobility is what we pride ourselves on. That intern fetching coffee? I he works hard enough, he can be the CEO one day. Or, to put it another way, that governor who left his job in disgrace after taking a taxpayer-funded vacation to Argentina? He can get elected to public office again someday.

I may be a little biased as a Republican, but one of the things I think we need to be successful are strong family values. We can climb that ladder to opportunity as long as we have a wonderful family holding the footings. A family that loves and trusts us whole-heartedly. And believes us when we say we’re going hiking on the Appalachian Trail.

America also provides us with the freedom to reach for the top. The founding fathers, after all, created this country with a can-do spirit. Without our freedom, we could never have industrialized more than any other nation on Earth. Or cheat on our wives, get divorced, and then marry our mistresses.

In the United States, we can go anywhere or do anything. If, for example, we want to start a new life on another coast and make a name for ourselves, we can still be financially successful. If I want to trespass on my ex-wife’s property and consequently lose all campaign funding from the National Republican Congressional Committee, I can still win an election.

Because American society is a great collection of unique individual citizens all looking to make a name for themselves. We’re all looking to be recognized and rewarded by our peers for all of our hard work. Even if we happen to be a selfish asshole in our personal lives.

                                                                                                  -By Mike Vandenberg

Weekly Report

Finals are over, school is over, just the graduation ceremony on Thursday. So a new chapter is opening up, one where I have to find a job.

That said, here's a bit of an update on what's going on with everyone.

Ted is scrambling to get enough comic pages done to cover his 8 weeks at camp this summer.

Radar is moving to Seattle, so we might not hear much from him going forward.

Mike will be working about the same.

And I will be moving in about six weeks.

As far as my writing goes, I'm working pretty full time on it, but I had to drop back down to the planning phases. You guys will probably not see too much from Dimensional Warriors out of me for a bit while I get resituated. That said I plan on getting some work done in my other projects now that I have the time.

Have a great week folks.

Professor Astonishing page 26

Dimensional Warriors Comic page 67

Professor Astonishing page 25

Dimensional Warriors comic page 66