Dimensional Warriors Comic Page 57

Paul Ryan Should Take Over After Me

By Pope Benedict XVI

His Holiness spoke at a meeting of the College of Cardinals yesterday. A transcript of his speech is printed here.

Your eminences. Dear brother bishops and priests. Dear brothers and sisters. Dear alter boys. I sprinkle holy water in your general direction.

As you all know, I will be stepping down in approximately a week, due to stress from old age and definitely, absolutely, not anything else. I assume you are currently deliberating on whom the next pope will be. I am aware that I am not supposed to be a part of the decision on the technicality that I was supposed to be dead before it took place. However, due to the current circumstances, I have decided to at least point out my preferred successor: Paul Ryan.

Let me briefly explain why I feel he is the right man for the papacy. First of all, he has never touched anyone inappropriately, unless you count- actually, never mind. Second, Ryan’s adherence to the philosophies of Ayn Rand makes him the perfect choice to lead Catholicism’s spread of the word of Jesus Christ. Ayn Rand believed that everyone’s only life goal should be to pursue their own rational self-interests. If other people fall on hard times, that is clearly their own fault and so society should not help.

Paul Ryan is an excellent Catholic for agreeing with Rand on these wonderful values. He believes that such a philosophy is in-line with and actually enforces Christ’s teachings to feed the hungry and clothe the poor. I could not agree more. That is why, logically, I keep a copy of Rand’s novel, Atlas Shrugged, next to my personal Bible in my study.

I would even go so far as to say the Ryan Budget is the values of Jesus Christ translated into numbers and dollar signs. I mean, it may as well have been written by a pope like me. Cutting food stamps for low-income families? That sounds just like feeding the hungry. Lowering housing subsidies for even the working poor? A fresh and modern idea. Let’s not forget, the budget would do all of that while simultaneously increasing military spending to astronomical levels, a perfect way to achieve Jesus’ goals of peace and understanding.

I can see it now: Pope Paul Ryan, former U.S. Representative from Wisconsin and Vice Presidential candidate, addressing the church’s loyal followers in St. Peter’s Square and wearing my sacred robes. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit will surely look down on the moment and concur with his infallibility.

                                                                                                                                 By Mike Vandenberg

Weekly Report 2/18 - 2/24

Before I begin this report I would like to point something out. This blog, and eventual website is primarily for works-in-progress. Whenever we get material that is publishable, we work to find a market for that piece. Otherwise everything here may still go through several iterations before seeing publication. The exceptions are some of Javier's work, and Professor Astonishing. Both are here looking to build a fan base for various
reasons. Now onto the week:


Mike:
Might not have something up tomorrow due to the fact that we are looking for someone to take up his most recent pieces. In fact if anyone knows of any papers that accept outside contributions and have a place for Political Satire, please let me know.


Dimensional Warriors:
Again I've taken in the new comments/criticisms I've received and reworked the opening, again. Here we are with Dimensional Warriors 11.05 now with hopefully a hook. Hopefully.

Dimensional Warriors v11.05
Word (.doc)
Open Office (.odt)
Rich Text (.rtf)
Text (.txt)

GCIB:
We have the first short story from Brian Mayor, we will obviously work on it and getting something bigger out there, but for now this is a nice teaser:

Pavel's Jungle
Word (.doc)
Open Office (.odt)
Rich Text (.rtf)
Text (.txt)

Comics:
Both are ahead of schedule. I'll be talking to Ted today, however, about changing the look of both the Solarus and the guns they use. Which won't be a retroactive thing, and probably won't be fixed for the earlier pages until we publish the comic in novel form. Also this week will be the end of the Roosevelt story line in P. Astonishing. The next arc will be a long one, like the Introduction.

Javier:
Just put out a new song with an accompanying video. We'll be posting that up next Thursday.

Professor Astonishing Page 15

Dimensional Warriors Fan Fiction: Training Chapter 2

Here

New chapter is up. Now for this week:

Saturday: Professor Astonishing
Monday: Weekly Report
Tuesday: Mike's Politics
Wednesday: Dimensional Warriors Comic
Friday: Dimensional Warriors Fan Fiction

Javier Aladren: Peace of Mind

The last song from Javier, a haunting tune that makes full use of his talents with a keyboard. This is definitely a powerful piece.

I'll be talking to Javier about other possible contributions to the site, as well whenever he finishes a new track I'll be posting it up.

Dimensional Warriors Comic page 56

Fight's almost over, enjoy it while it lasts folks.

Honestly, My Marlboros Are the Only Things That Keep Me Going Anymore

By Barack Obama, 44^th President of the United States

As president, it has been an honor to serve the American people these last four years. Your letters of encouragement have given me hope for this great nation, and confirmation that the victories I have won have been met with satisfaction. But seriously, sometimes the only thing that calms my nerves after, for instance, yet another pundit on Fox News accuses me of foul play in Benghazi is a smooth Marlboro cigarette.

Don’t get me wrong, I have the support of a loving family. Michelle is the best wife I could ask for, a life partner who is always there to give a word of advice when I need it most. Hugs from my daughters instantly brighten my day. Heck, even throwing around a tennis ball with Bo on the South Lawn puts a smile on my face. But the truth is nothing quite calms me down after yet another Republican filibuster like lighting one up in the Oval Office, smoke alarms be damned.

If I didn’t have that occasional cigarette, some nights I’d probably just veto every bill on my desk and then light them all on fire. Do you feel suddenly uncomfortable? Too bad! Sorry, I’m a bit antsy now because I haven’t had a drag all day. I emptied the pack after [Senator Lindsay] Graham said he might block [Secretary of Defense nominee Chuck] Hagel’s confirmation vote.

I mean, you should have seen me during my reelection campaign. I had one of the best campaign teams I could ever ask for and support from voters like you. But oh man, I was charging through cartons in October like they were going out of style. Well, I guess they are actually.

Because smoking’s bad for you, folks. And I certainly am aware of that. It’s unhealthy and poisonous. But 

do you know what’s more unhealthy and poisonous? An entire political party ceaselessly calling me a socialist.

So I’m sorry I lied about quitting. I tried, I really did, but sometimes I need that little bit of nicotine to get me through things like having to debate Mitt Romney or confirming that Obamacare won’t kill your grandparents.

I may have a bad tobacco habit, but I assure you the only thing that I’m addicted to is moving this country forward.

By Mike Vandenberg

Weekly Report 2/11-2/17

First off I would like to welcome a new contributor to the site: Michael Vandenberg! He is a politically inclined comedian who will be posting humorous political parody starting this Tuesday! So a big welcome for him.

GCIP
Brian Mayer has been working on fleashing out his major cast of characters for his upcoming webseries GCIB. While we don't have much this week, we do have some vague character ideas for two of his main characters: John Gibson and Pavel.

Gibson is a hard luck cop who prefers to work alone and likes to bend the rules. While Pavel is a mercenary sniper that has turned away from the street life. Other than that not much more can be said here.

Dimensional Warriors
Another week has passed and I've been plugging away here. So again this week you'll be treated to what I've gotten done so far:

Dimensional Warriors v11.03

Word (.doc)
Open Office (.odt)
Rich Text (.rtf)
Text (.txt)

Professor Astonishing
Not too much news here, we're well ahead of schedule both in Astonishing and Dimensional Warriors comic.  I wouldn't expect us to have to skip a week anytime soon; and there is talk of bumping up the scheduling again after Ted is done with camp this summer.

Javier Aladren
This week we're going to see the last of Javier's current music. I will be talking to him to see if he wants to continue contributing in some other way.

STUFF Reviews + Desk of 3
I never start something without planning on seeing it through. Both of these projects have been on hold for fairly different reasons. The Review show is looking at a few major changes, particularly in what our message will be and how we deliver it; while Desk of 3 needs to find new purpose before I can pick it up again. However the biggest problem facing both of these is that I'm making a major push to get Dimensional Warriors into a publishable state. This means that anytime I'm writing, I'm always writing for DW. Hopefully by the end of the semester I'll have DW in a place where I can start working on other things again. So these two are on hold until then.

Professor Astonishing Page 14

Dimensional Warriors Fan Fiction: Training chapter 1

Here

Author's Notes are up inside the piece.

This week!
Saturday: Professor Astonishing
Monday: Weekly Report
Wednesday: Dimensional Warriors Comic
Friday: Dimensional Warriors Fan Fiction

Dimensional Warriors Comic Page 55

The fight continues!

Weekly Report: 2/5-2/10

We have big news this week:

Brian Mayer is joining the site. He is working of a noir-esque web series. Most of the writing still has to be done and we will be discussing how his work is going to be displayed on the site later today. The most likely scenario is his progress will be posted up during the Reports along with mine. From what he has so far we're looking at something akin to cops in Shadowrun; it should be very interesting.

In other news I have made new progress on Dimensional Warriors, posted below:

Dimensional Warriors v 11.02
Word (.doc)
Open Office (.odt)
Rich Text (.rtf)
Text (.txt)

That's it for this week, enjoy!

Professor Astonishing 13: Now with 10% more animation!

Enjoy the first animated Professor Astonishing story! Courtesy of Ted Selden.

I do apologize for how late this is, but well this was our first time doing something like this, so cut us some slack, and enjoy! As an aside the same person voice the good Professor here also acted as the Professor in the trailer. Which we will someday release the full footage of. As soon as we have non-licensed music.

Dimensional Warriors Fan Fiction: The Return Chapter 30

Here

Finally finished with Yu Yu Hakusho, and wrapped up the loose ends on Trek. Unfortunately I didn't get to do a little something I wanted to with Trek, but I might get that when I go back to edit. That said I'm looking forward to next weeks' segment.

On a different note here is the schedule for the upcoming week:
Saturday: Professor Astonishing Comic
Monday: Weekly Report
Wednesday: Dimensional Warriors Comic
Friday: Dimensional Warriors Fan Fiction

Javier Aladren: Cryptic

A gentler song from Javier. His marvelous voice compliments his steady guitar playing. It's definitely worth a listen.

Dimensional Warriors Comic page 54

The fight continues!

You can read the rest of the comic here or by clicking the tab at the top of the page.

Weekly Report 1/28 - 2/3

So here's the story; Class has officially begun which means that the amount I'm writing has skyrocketed. Now, add onto this the fact that one of my classes is my Senior Seminar class in which I am being coached in how to write.

Thanks in a large part to my teacher, Suzannah Rich, I'm going to probably be editing and re-editing the first part of the book. And at the start of each week I'll be cataloging all the work I did here.

So knowing that and acknowledging the fact that there is no other news, here is this week's entry; roughly eight pages that have been rewritten focusing on Imagery and Action. (Literally sat down with her and she pretty much crossed out the first two pages as boring.)

Dimensional Warriors v11.01
Open Office (.odt)
Word (.doc)
Rich Text (.rtf)
Text (.txt)

Professor Astonishing Page 12

Dimensional Warriors Fan Fic Chapter 29

Here

And another chapter comes to pass.

This is the upcoming week on the blog:
Saturday: Professor Astonishing
Monday: Weekly Report
Wednesday: Dimensional Warriors Comic
Thursday: Javier Aladren
Friday: Dimensional Warriors Fan Fiction

Have a great weekend everybody!