Senator Lautenberg Succumbs to 113th Congress

WASHINGTON- Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) died Monday from complications of current congressional membership. He was 89.

Lautenberg served in World War II and was a successful businessman and CEO when he started flirting with politics. Flirting unfortunately led to reckless behavior, like deciding to run for the U.S. Senate in 1982. As the habit spiraled out of control, he spent a huge sum of his own money supporting a growing addiction to politics. In the election, Lautenberg was infected with the virus ST, short for Senate Term and a strand of the Congressional family. His doctors predicted that if he fought for his own pride and beliefs, he would be cured in roughly six years.

At that time, doctors instead discovered the disease had flared up again, meaning he would have to deal with another bout of senatorial membership. Still, Senator Lautenberg fought hard against the normal symptoms of partisanship and bruising of the skin to win key legislative victories. In 1994, the virus broke out again.

But still, through each break-out and until 2010, Lautenberg was able to get past the often-debilitating affliction. Even after doctors mistakenly believed he was cured for two years between 2001 and 2003, only to have senate membership break out once more, he took his illness in stride.

Since 2010 however, the affliction had taken an ugly turn; his battle with senate membership entered a new stage called Hyper-Partisanship that he could not recover from. Most damaging about this part of the disease is that a major treatment named Compromise is no longer effective.

Frail and constantly ill but never without his humor, Senator Lautenberg was rarely seen in the public eye during his last few months. In April, lack of basic gun reform combined with the common cold hurt his struggling immune system, though he did fight on until Monday.

Lautenberg is survived by his wife, Bonnie, as well his colleagues and fellow New Jersey Congressional Caucus support group members, Senator Bob Menendez and Representative Frank Pallone.

                                                                                          -By Mike Vandenberg