Boy Scouts Vote for Half-Inclusiveness

GRAPEVINE, TEXAS- The Boy Scouts of America’s 14,000 voting members approved a plan yesterday to make the organization half-inclusive to homosexuals.

Winning 61 percent of the votes, the policy will take affect January 1^st and allow gay scouts while still excluding gay leaders. Wayne Perry, president of the organization, remarked, “This is a great half-success for the BSA. We pride ourselves on the halfway-diversity of our members. This is just a continuation of our mission.”

A previous proposal included letting individual troops decide how inclusive they felt like being in a diverse and fair 21^st century American society. However, it was quickly ruled out as being too tolerant for an organization that prides itself on tolerance. At one point, the BSA also considered lifting the ban on all gay members. That idea too was shut down, fearing the reaction of the organization’s religiously accepting scouts to “avowed homosexuals”.

Critics of the new half-inclusive policy stated that it is unnecessary and inconsistent. “All closeted gays were allowed in scouts before. Why not keep it that way?” asked Sean Hannity from Fox News.

Supporters of the new rule hailed it as a half-step in the right direction. The Human Rights Campaign’s statement on the news said, “America has constantly made compromises on basic values to move forward as a society. Who can forget all of the good that came from The Missouri Compromise of 1850? Or how Allied appeasement prevented a second world war? The new BSA policy will be just as much of a success as those were.” 

                                                                                       -By Mike Vandenberg